The Sewing Perfectionist

Last week's Sewing Expo was very fun. Though not a lot of actual sewing happens at these things, it's the perfect chance, if you are so inclined, to spend a LOT of money. I was proud of myself for holding back and only purchasing five different fabrics, a handful of buttons, embossing powder and ribbon, and a few magazines for beginning sewers. More importantly, though, I came away inspired to start sewing!

The first fabric I purchased was a light teal flannel with adorable little dresses printed all over it. It was a good value and I envisioned making pajama pants out of it. And as it happened, at the Simplicity booth they were giving away a free pattern for pajama pants. Perfect! The only challenge was that I had purchased the last of that fabric from the bolt, and it came in two separate pieces.....not quite enough to make the pattern. So yesterday my mom and I drove out to Fabric Depot on the east side of town to look for another flannel fabric to make a cuff at the bottom of the pants.

Fabric Depot is known for their enormous selection and their 40% off sales, one of which was happening this weekend. It was a bit overwhelming to be surrounded by so much fabric, with my mind suddenly racing about all of the great projects I could do. My mom was delighted to see me so excited about sewing, and she helped me pick up some notions that I needed and select a skirt pattern for some tweed fabric I'd purchased at the Expo. We found a fun flannel to go with my pajama pants in a zebra stripe, and I was thrilled. We also found some beautiful lace to do a little inverted V-shaped cutout at the bottom of the cuff - an idea I'd picked up at the expo and was eager to try out.

After braving the crowds to make our purchases, we returned to her house where she has a fully decked-out sewing room with everything we could possibly need to work on my project. We washed and ironed the fabric we'd purchased, and spread it out on the cutting table to figure out how we would piece together this project. I had a few ideas in mind that would take us off of the beaten path of the simple pattern instructions (a bit ambitious for a beginner!) so we had some figuring to do that would require our best math and geometry skills.

As we worked, I started to realize something: I was worrying too much about making everything just so. Each snip of the scissors as I cut out the fabric, each pin I placed, I felt I needed to double-check with my mom to see if I was doing it right. Sometimes my mom would encourage me to be as careful or detailed as possible, but much of the time I got answers like "It's close enough," or "Just eyeball it. It doesn't need to be perfect."

I was trying to be a sewing perfectionist. I honestly think this may be at least a part of what had been keeping me from sewing before....I was afraid to cut into the fabric or try a unique pattern because I might not do it correctly. Without someone standing over my shoulder to say "Yes, that's right," or "No, do it this way," I was just too intimidated to try. And when I did attempt a project on my own, the 1-hour easy project took me over three hours because I agonized over each step, re-reading the instructions five or six time before each stitch.

I think this is why my friend Jen has become such an accomplished seamstress in such a short amount of time. She dove into the process without fear, and learned both by instruction, and by trial and error. She didn't let the possibility of a mistake keep her from trying something out, even if it wasn't exactly what the pattern instructions told her she should do. If her project didn't turn out exactly how she had hoped, she simply found a creative way to fix it - usually with an even better result.

I suspect there is a larger application here than just with sewing. At work, or in life, if we try to be "perfectionists" then we find ourselves paralyzed. We are so afraid of making the wrong decision that we make no decision at all. Or we try too hard to control our circumstances, and suddenly find that we haven't made the progress we had hoped for. We're stuck on step 3 of 15 while everyone else seems to be moving on to something else.

I know that there are times where the little details truly do matter. As I worked on my pajama pants, my mom pointed out that I should sew a certain part from the top side of the garment, because "that is the part that will be visible." Sometimes it's okay to have some sloppy stitches or uneven edges on the inside of the garment, because it's not really going to be noticed anyway. So, if I'm having company over to my house, and I'm breaking my back to have the place spotless....is anyone really going to look behind the sofa to see if it's been vacuumed? Probably not.

On the other hand, there are also times where you need to pay close attention to the items "behind the scenes," because otherwise your entire garment can come unravelled. I realized this recently with the boxers I had made a few weeks ago. I didn't take the extra time to press and sew the edge of the fabric at the waistband, and after one washing that rough edge is starting to fray. It's the other side of the coin, where if you're not taking care of yourself then all of the beautiful finish work that's visible to the outside world can just come apart.

It can be difficult to know at times what is worth your attention, and what you just need to release control of. It helps me to think of the consequences. If I consider the worst-case scenario, and decide I can live with it, then I think I can let go more easily.

So, when I return to my mom's house today to finish the project I've started, I'm resolving to pay closer attention to the things that matter....and to relax about the rest. Maybe after that I'll start another project on my own and try to let go of the fear that I might make a mistake.

After all, there will be another Sewing Expo next year, and Fabric Depot will have another 40% off sale. If the worst-case scenario is that I need to get some more fabric because I've destroyed what I was working on beyond recognition or repair.....I can live with that.